Your early teenage years
are for you to discover who you are,
and deciding exactly how
you’re going to change the world.
The years that come afterwards
are for you to start going after your dreams,
and recognizing the person
who’s going to support you,
as he pursues his own dreams, too.
Most problems happen
when you cling to someone too soon:
Your identity becomes “being his girlfriend,”
and your only dream becomes
“to stay with him.”
It’s a very difficult thing:
trying to rediscover yourself
when you never knew who you are.
It’s even harder to let go of a dream
that doesn’t work out,
it was the only one you had.
– Coach Aileen Santos
I feel this is an important episode in #FallInLoveFriday.
These past weeks I had been noticing a growing trend — particularly among Gen Z and Millennial couples — where they are experiencing toxic behaviors in their relationship…
…and actually mistake them as “romantic.”
Here is an example:
Girl tells guy: “I forbid you from going to your best friend’s bachelor party.”
Either one of them might think “it’s so cute that she gets jealous & protective.” And some people might also think: “I’ll forbid my partner from doing that, too.”
But this is what’s really happening:
- She’s sending him the clear message that she does not trust his decisions / actions when he’s not with her.
- She does not think highly of his friends.
- She is keeping him from being part of an important event in his best friend’s life, and
- Their relationship seems based on a “struggle for control,” and in this instance she particularly wants to “win.”
Yes, there is a very fine line between “controlling” and “influencing.” AND this is just one of the potential signs of toxicity in a relationship.
Find out all the 5 signs in this video now.
BTW here’s the good news:
When you finally know what’s wrong, you also reclaim your ability to make things right.
YES, please do share this video with people who can benefit from knowing these love lessons from Coach Aileen.